Yeah, me and "Scruff Dog" have hit it off pretty good. I never thought I'd become pals with a "dork", but I have. One of the things I like about ole' Scruff is his Golf Etiquette. You can tell a lot about the character of a person after spending some time with 'em on the golf course.

You see, golf is a lot like life. You face many adversities, obstacles, and challenges. In order to succeed, you must be self-reliant, but not self-consumed. If you can't think about your fellow man and go the extra mile to make things better for him, you haven't learned a thing about golf or life.

Now! LISTEN UP you "knuckle dragging fire ants"!!!

You know who you are! That's right, I'm talking to you brain dead guys and gals who do not have the etiquette to rake a sand bunker ("trap" for you rookies) after you have hacked and dug it up like a danged 'tater patch. If I could ever catch you, I'd make you rake every gull-darned sand trap on the golf course for a week!

I'm only goin' to tell you this ONCE!

If any part of your body, including anything in your grubby little hands, in any way touches or disrupts a grain of sand in a sand bunker, you had best find yourself a rake and smooth the sand so there is no evidence that your sorry butt was ever in there! And another thing. When you're finished with that rake, place it on the ground outside the bunker, with the danged handle parallel to the fairway! Show a little respect for the other golfers! YOU GOT THAT?

Respect for the Flag

I'm not talking about the flag on the green you divot head, although there is a proper way to respect it, which I will get into later. I'm talking about "Old Glory", the Stars and Stripes! I get a tear in my eye everytime our National Anthem is played and our flag is raised. I can't help thinking about the thousands of men and women who have given their lives or have had their lives forever changed, fighting to preserve and protect everything our flag stands for.

I also get gulled when I see Americans who think they are being patriotic, but are actually being disrespectful to our flag. It's ok to be ignorant, but don't be stupid! Click on "Old Glory" to learn the proper etiquette for the treatment of the flag of the United States of America.

Every nation on earth has a flag. Click here to learn about The Flags of the World.

Now, come on, let's have a nice cigar. And while we're on that subject, I'd like to talk to you about proper cigar etiquette.

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SBI!